Visualize it: You are out in public and in walks a piece of
your past, someone who is tied perhaps to mistakes you made. Maybe someone you
were not very nice to (or wasn’t very nice to you). Perhaps it is someone who
you are frankly embarrassed to see, because in your mind you think that the
first thing they will do is walk up to you and make it all known what mistakes
you made, how you were, what a jerk you were, etc. Now, you cannot tell me that
at least once in your life, while out and about, you haven’t looked at the door
and feared someone like that walking in. I do it, and I am positive we all do
it. Maybe it is just embarrassment for our mistakes, or maybe it is fear that
we will never be able to be forgiven for stupidities. We all have someone, the
last person we want to see walk through that door.
Human beings seem to bear that cross of past mistakes, often
unnecessarily. This brings me to one of my favorite movies, Les Miserables
(spoiler alert). Think of Jean Valjean. He had a tainted past. Although he
received forgiveness, and went on to become an incredible man in a position of
power, he always had his head looking over his shoulder, convinced that people
would find out his sins and not see him for what he actually is. The
investigator, Javert, was constantly on the hunt to catch Valjean. Only when
Valjean finally stops trying to run Javert, Javert leaves him alone. I believe
the Javert in our life isn’t somebody else trying to hunt us, but ourselves
hanging our own life and fears over our heads. Think about it, as soon as Jean
Valjean finally stopped running, and faced the fact that he had made mistakes
in life and agreed to surrender himself, Javert, rather than arrest
Valjean, jumps off of the bridge,
realizing that his life of hunting Valjean was a failed effort, because
Valjean, once a convict, proved himself a good man.
We are our own Javert. We often don’t let ourselves move on.
We all make mistakes in life, and we are supposed to! From the beginning of
time, man has made mistakes. All the way back to Adam and Eve. They ate the
forbidden fruit. Why? To receive knowledge of good and evil. Was it a mistake?
YES! God said no. That is disobedient.
Was eating the fruit a necessary step in learning? YES! I then ask the
question. If an all knowing God knew that Adam and Eve were going to have to
eat the fruit to move out of the Garden, then why did he put them there in the
first place? Was He teaching a lesson to them that in life, you won’t be
perfect and mistakes will actually be a powerful way that we learn? Adam and
Eve went on to be very righteous people. Did the painful experience of being
cast out of the garden motivate them to live better? Personally, I think so. I
think that to a certain extent, God not only expects us to make mistakes, but
wants us to so we learn from them. Mistakes have the ability to be one of the
most powerful teachers that we have.
Don’t misunderstand what I am saying; you are still
obligated to try your best. I can’t go out to the streets and beat someone up
just to have the learning experience the mistake of assault charges carry. We
must try our best. Only when we do the best to be a good person do we have the
forgiveness for our mistakes. That having been said, why do we constantly beat
ourselves over the head for things that we are supposed to do? We can’t walk through life beating ourselves
up, that prevents the learning. Think of life as us hiking up a mountain with
buckets of paint. We are going to spill paint. It is impossible not to. Maybe
you position yourself poorly, or don’t watch your step and stumble and spill
some. It would be stupid if after you spill, you shake your head the rest of
the way and beat yourself up for the paint you spilled miles and miles before.
That seems ridiculous! As ridiculous as holding your past mistakes over your
head.
People from your past will walk through that door. You will
see them at the grocery store, and they frankly might not have forgiven or may
even still hold your mistakes over your head. You cannot control that. They
will always be there. Just realize that you are meant to make mistakes. If you
learned from your mistakes, and are now a better person, then whoever it is
walking through that door is at fault if they don’t see who you are rather than
what you were. Your mistakes shape you. They don’t define you. What defines you
are the lessons you learn from your mistakes. A favorite proverb of mine says
“a just man falleth seven times, but riseth up again.” Forgive yourself, and
rise up.
Proud of you Adam. This is very pertinent to a recent situation of a dear friends son who just came home early from his mission. I think you will find this Elder's "open letter" to be perfectly worded, raw, open, vulnerable and inspiring. It goes along with what you are saying.
ReplyDeletehttp://elderhixon.blogspot.com/